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Live Blog Of Real Housewives Of Atlanta, Episode 10

Geoff here, live blogging my first RHOA of the season. A big shout to Nicole for holding down HListed thus far! I’m going to see how long I can go before I use the words “hot,” “ghetto,” and/or “mess” in communicating what the “ladies” of the ATL have for us tonight.

10:01PM: Kim is planning her birthday party with yet another “party planner” in Atlanta. Apparently, party planning in the ATL is big business.

10:02 PM: Kim says she wants to throw the party, in part, to thank Kandi for “Tardy for the Party.” Umm … has she heard it?

10:04 PM: You can re-order platinum plaques, Kandi? I’m about to hit up Amazon for my Thriller plaque.

10:05 PM: Why do I think Kandi’s “home studio” is really her house? Let’s not front.

10:06 PM: Flashback to a Kim and NeNe fight … and it’s about what? Tardy for the damn Party.

10:07 PM: NeNe tells Lisa that weak women are bothered by her strong persona. She’s not interested in going to Kim’s party. She will not be tardy for the party, methinks.

10:08 PM: NeNe: “That Kim is a dirty lowdown <unintelligible> with a wig on.”

COMMERCIAL BREAK

10:12 PM: Dwight Alert! “I was not surprised that Sheree came to me for help with her fashion show. She had no other options.”

10:13 PM: For those of you not familiar with the ATL, the W Perimeter that Sheree mentioned is about 45 minutes from ATL proper and costs about 1/3 less than the real Atlanta W. Boughetto!

10:14 PM: Are Sheree’s real or fake? Weigh in.

10:15 PM: Sheree wants to send an evite for her upscale fashion show. Boughetto!

10:16 PM: Kandi and her man are eating a super unappetizing-looking meal and talking about her music comeback. Snoooooore. Her hair is laid though.

10:18 PM: Just because: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B6R4_txsj-o

10:19 PM: Big Poppa drops Kim off at Kandi’s house … oops, home studio.

10:20 PM: Kim really has no musical talent. None. Zilch. Nada. Holla! She’s in the studio recording a hook Kandi wrote, which sounds strangely like J.Lo’s “Waiting for Tonight.”

10:21 PM: More talk about NeNe … the party coming up … blah, blah, blah.

10:22 PM: Kim: “Kandi’s become a really good friend of mine” (for now …)

COMMERCIAL BREAK

10:26 PM: Sheree is headed to New York with her non-Housewife friend Tania. Sidenote to Tania: slow your roll. The casting for this season is a wrap.

10:27 PM: Wait a minute! This is the same studio where Fantasia and Kandi mixed it up. Kandi is rehearsing with her dancers singing ’bout some “Fly Above All The Haters.” I really hope that’s the name of the song.

10:28 PM: Mr. Big just walked in. He’s Kandi’s old manager, and he is wielding a cane. “Don’t half-step while you learning. Show me come ‘citement, some sex appeal.” Who is this character?!

10:30 PM: Sheree says she could totally live in New York. Yeah … the Real Housewives of New York wouldn’t have that.

10:31 PM: Sheree is giving the stinkface to her seamstress, who only says “Oh, you need?” and “Uh oh.”

COMMERCIAL BREAK

10:36 PM: Kim actually doesn’t look all that rough without the warpaint she usually wears. She’s getting made up for the party.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

10:40 PM: Kim has a conversation about her pimp, uh boyfriend, with her kids.

10:41 PM: Jazze Pha, is that you standing next to Kim?

10:42 PM: Kim says Big Poppa proposed (presumably in the limo) and shows off the ring. Funny how Big Poppa ain’t around to share in the celebration.

10:43PM: Sheree: Isn’t Big Poppa married? Face Crack!

10:44 PM: OK, OK can’t hate. The ring is sick! Gaudy and overstated, which is expected since it’s new money, but still …

10:45 PM: Uh oh, “Tardy for the Party” is about to make its public debut.

10:46 PM: Kandi needs a Colgate endorsement. Those teeth are blangin’.

10:47 PM: Kandi’s mom showed up to the party dressed for a BBQ.

10:48 PM: Kim, who previously cried at the thought of going into the studio, says she is proud of herself … for the song that Kandi produced.

10:49: Lisa: “Ed has not been playing football for a couple years …” FACE CRACK!

10:50 PM: Lisa and her husband are pretending to do an interview, to help him brush up on his broadcasting skills. He can’t pronounce the word “ask” though … dare I say Face Crack?!

10:51 PM: Kandi’s performance at Tongue and Groove is about to pop off. Kim — Kandi’s best friend — is nowhere in sight.

COMMERCIAL BREAK — The trailer for 2012 is so overblown that it’s not effective.

10:56 PM: Kandi is so country that she needs subtitles.

10:57 PM: Kandi is performing and flying above all the haters.

10:58 PM: Kandi’s mom is in the audience, sporting her second-favorite BBQ outfit.

10:59 PM: Lisa was the only one of the Housewives to show up. Kim dropped her like a hot flatiron.

11:00 PM: Next week: Kandi wants to call her album, “Blog.” Lisa might be pregnant, and Dwight runs a marathon in high heels.

Until next time, folks!

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